Here’s a list of some clever quips, a few funnly little word plays. I got them in an email recently and thought that unlike most of the junk I get, these were actually worth sharing. If you have a good one, feel free to add one as a comment.
1. A bicycle canâ€™t stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy itâ€™s your vote that counts; in feudalism, itâ€™s your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you donâ€™t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and Iâ€™ll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you canâ€™t budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldnâ€™t find the key.
16. A calendarâ€™s days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: â€˜Taint yours, and â€˜taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When youâ€™ve seen one shopping center youâ€™ve seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought sheâ€™d dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santaâ€™s helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. At a bar: Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder
31. Atheism the only non prophet organisation
32. When making whipped cream churn it a little longer, itâ€™s butter that way.
33. Chatting to this scarecrow the other day, turns out heâ€™s the top man in his field
34. An auction: a place where you get something for nodding